Happy New Year to you all – I hope that 2020 brings you wealth, good health and an abundance of happiness.
This festive season has been fantastic for me, which was unexpected but very much welcome. The Christmas period is usually a very stressful time for me, you can read about that in my recent post End Of Year Anxiety and Stress 2019- Intensified By Addiction, Trauma & Miscarriage.
This year I decided to take a few days off when my kids started their school holidays, I thought maybe 3 days would be great just to gather my strength and energy to get through the festive season working and looking after my family.
However something malfunctioned when I took it easy for a few days and I just could not get back into it. Now 6 weeks later I am starting to get back into work. So much for those 3 days! I have done a little bit of work, but nothing to get excited about. I have probably gotten about one full day’s work in total done over the last 5 weeks.
Clearly my body and my mind have needed this break. I’ve been working through Christmas, weekends and public holidays as well as many late evenings for as long as I can remember. Going on proper leave for 3 weeks over December while working for an employer is a very distant memory.
So what a treat this has been and it has given me the oomph to get started in 2020 revitalized and with a bang.
When I was visiting my parents over Christmas my mother asked me if I had any New Year’s Resolutions and my reply was no – I just don’t do them. There was a time many moons ago when I did them and I found that they were not for me. I decided that this topic would make for a great blog post.
So here are the reasons that I make no New Years Resolutions…
New Year’s Resolutions Are A Disappointment Waiting To Happen
Ok maybe that sounds a little over dramatic, but that is how I have found them. There is such a build up to the New Year and I used to get over enthusiastic about what I wanted to achieve. I would make out a list of New Year’s Resolutions and then the 1st of January arrives and the positivity is high and things start well…
But then very quickly things would start to slide – not because I am lazy or unmotivated. It was simply that I would take on too many things at once – something was bound to crash.
Then when the inevitable crash came I would beat myself up for being a failure. No thank you!
Enough Stress Even With No New Years Resolutions
Now let’s look at the festive season and January – there is the build up to the end of year. Things get crazy in most households at the end of the year. There are school concerts, graduation ceremonies, prize givings, school parties and so much more. Then you have Christmas shopping, travel preparations, family gatherings, Christmas day and New Year’s Eve celebrations.
In our family we also have a few December birthdays just to make sure things stay busy!
If you are not driven batty by all of that already, in January you need to start preparing for the new school year. Talk about a load of stress.
The thought of adding in New Year’s Resolutions and putting that addition pressure on myself makes me want to curl up and cry. No thank you!
I’m Constantly Working On Myself Already
I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict – I work the 12 step program every single day. This does not mean that every single day I am making massive changes to my life, it simply means that I am always monitoring my behaviour and constantly making small corrections when I see I am going wrong.
I find this a fantastic way of life – so much better to nibble away at things all the time than to pressure myself with lots of big changes at once.
I Work On One Big Thing At A Time
I’m not a fan of making a list of big changes to make all at once. It is a recipe for disaster. I see some New Years Resolutions posted online and I think OMG what are you doing to yourself?
I do make big changes in my life but I tackle them one at a time and I make sure I’ve nailed it. Then I give myself a big pat on the back and take a rest before assessing where I am and what I should tackle next. Some of my changes take months or even years from the time I make the decision to make the change until the time I am ready for my next self improvement project.
I firmly believe that it takes time and a good healthy mindset to make long lasting changes.
When I quit smoking it took me about 2 years from the time I started considering quitting smoking, to preparing myself to quit, to getting over the cigarettes… and I include in this time frame the fact that I had to get a handle on my eating too after quitting smoking.
My latest change which I am still in the process of working through is coming off my psychiatric medication after being on it for 11+ years. I have been off them for about 6 months but I am still getting used to not having a buffer against life when things get bumpy. I struggle with my sleep and also with anxiety. I’ve had to work harder than ever on my healthy coping mechanisms.
I’m not sure what I will tackle next, but I will start planning that when I’m confident about where I am with no medication.
Focusing On Achievements
When the new year starts I like to look back on the year gone by and focus on the things that I have achieved and on gratitude. This starts me off on a positive note, focusing on what I have already done, not what I still have to do.
So instead of listing the things I want to do, here are the things that I am proud of achieving in 2019:
- I went off my psychiatric medication after 11+ years
- I was kinder to myself
- I spent more quality time with my kids
- I took a break from work over the festive season
- I built another website – a blogging community for women and created my first course for working online which focuses on Pinterest Marketing – more courses to follow on blogging soon so free to check it out.
- I started blogging on this website after having bought my domain name about 2 years ago
Don’t Give In To Pressure – Do What’s Right For You
Now I’m not saying that New Year’s Resolutions are bad, I’m just saying that they are NOT for me. If you love making New Year’s Resolutions and you feel great when you make them and achieve them that is fantastic – you keep on with that.
However I’ve noticed that there appears to be such a hype around New Year’s Resolutions each year and it seems to me that so many people place massive expectations on themselves.
If you feel like it’s too much just don’t do it.